Things you would never know without the movies- During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
- If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.
- All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her.
- The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
- All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
- It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down.
- The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place - noone will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
- Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.
- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
- If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
- You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do.
- If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
- A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
- When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill; just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
- Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
- Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
- Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
- All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
- A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK stadium.
- Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
- Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
- It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
- Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
- It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
- When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
- No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
- Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
- You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.
http://www.allcleanhumor.com/jokesarchive/arc46.shtml
Well, it is officially allergy season in Tennessee. The ragweed is rampant and our noses are all the evidence we need. So, I thought today would be a good day for some comforting, home-made chicken noodle soup.
Rosemary Chicken Noodle Soup
Ingredients:
6 cups water
4 cups low-sodium chicken broth
2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken meat
2 tablespoons dried rosemary
1 tablespoon dried thyme
3 cloves crushed garlic
1 white onion
4 carrots, sliced
1 package egg noodles
salt to taste
ground black pepper to taste
Directions:
1. Add all ingredients, minus the noodles and carrots, into a crockpot and cook on low for 4 hours.
2. Add carrots and cooked noodles and cook on low for one more hour.
I made this last night. I'm not a huge chicken noodle soup fan, so I'm not the best judge (and Michael's sick and can't taste much), but it came out slightly above average. I would choose this over a can of soup, but I wouldn't serve it to impress people.
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Rosemary-Chicken-Noodle-Soup/Detail.aspx
The Mythbusters actually proved the one about being able to land a plane if there's someone to talk you down, sort of. It's plausible. It can be done but no one's ever actually done it in real life. The one about jerking the wheel to the left or right even if you're on a straight road, that reminds me of that Dane Cook joke. I've seen a lot of these, if not all. I think there are ones I've seen but never given any thought to until this. The rosemary chicken and noodle soup looks like it would be good.
ReplyDeleteOn the Mythbusters thing, I mean Adam and Jamie each did it in a simulation for the myth, but no one has ever done it in a real flight in a real plane.
ReplyDeleteI just thought they were funny.
ReplyDeleteI agree, they're funny.
ReplyDelete